


If only

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron - Fandom, klance - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Keith has Cancer, M/M, Pining, good luck reading, lance doesnt know it, lotsofpining, smau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 17:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10746114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A world where the markings on ones skin appears on those of their soulmate. But what happens when anothers soulmate refuses to tell them their name; or wont even tell them why they can never meet?This is short and not that good but oh well





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Soulmate.

 

A person with whom you have an immediate connection to the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before.

He had heard these words a thousand times, by several different people. They were always the same no matter who they came from; wether it be hunk, pidge, or even allura or coran. But the brunette could never fully understand them.

His soulmate was different.

Their bond wasnt as strong as his friends were; they never had elongated conversations like hunk did with his, or even pidge with theirs! His soulmate was quiet, reserved. They only talked to lance when they had a question or when they were randomly doodling on the inside of their hand or wrist.

He didnt like it.

'Aliens, yes or no?'

The words appeared in red ink on the inside of his arm. Lance smiled at the messy handwriting of the person that the universe had decided to connect him to; and picked up a pen of his own.

In blue he scribbled his response, blowing on it softly to keep it from bleeding across his tanned skin.

'Theres no way we're alone here, buddy.'

Lance had noticed the markings the day he had turned 13. At first he had thought they were just stray marks from his markers; but when doodles and words began to appear, he had realized where they were originally coming from.

The brunettes soulmate rarely ever contacted him, but when he did; it was just endless questions wether he believed if the moonlanding was faked or if he knew about some legion named.. mothmet? Mopmen?

'Moth man'

His SM corrected, and lance could practically feel the aggravation dripping from each letter.

'Whatever, nerd. Mopmen sounds cooler'

He smiled at the extended conversation. Usually the other would have disappeared by now; why was it different this time?

'When are you going to tell me your name?'

Lance scribbled, hesitantly. He didnt want to push his SM away, they seemed like a really jumpy guy.. girl? Either way, whenever lance asked a seemingly personal question, they would disappear- or change the subject entirely.

'If i tell you, we will be too close.'

The response came slow; a full ten minutes before lance had noticed the writing on the back of his hand. The cuban teen frowned as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Too close? They were soulmates; they were already close! Lance suddenly realized that the other was a raging introvert and the complete opposite of himself. Just kidding.

'Do you even want to meet me?'

Slight paranoia crawled its way to the front of lances brain. What if his soulmate didnt even like him? Didnt want to make an effort to try and find him? Or even worse, what if his soulmate already knew who he was and was disappointed?

There was no response.


	2. Chapter 2

 

  
"They havent said anything in four days!!!"

Hunk turned to the screeching of lance coming through their shared dorm room. "Who hasnt said anything?"

"Them!!!!" Lance pointed to the doodles on his arm that were slowly fading, leaving smooth and tan skin. "Im worried, they got so distant so fast.. we were having a great conversation too!!" He pouted as he crossed his arms, glaring at the floor.

"Maybe he just needs some space?" Hunk suggested as he finished folding up the laundry,   
Placing them in their belonged place in a wardrobe.

"But this is different! I feel it, somethings not ri-" the door opened; and lances eyes lit up.

"Well if it isnt my favorite space daddy." He winked as a tall, broad man walked through the door.

"Shut it, lance." He had an amused smile as he closed the door behind him. A prosthetic arm laying lazily by his side as the other returned to the inside of his pocket. "I could hear your rant from down the hall, is everything alright?"

"NO! My soulmates probably dead or they dont like me or maybe im just being paranoid but they havent responded to me in forever!"

"Four days."

"IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER OKAY?!"

"Alright, lance. You need to calm down. Take a deep breath. Im sure theres a perfectly logical explanation for your connection to not be responding. Remember, patience yields focus." Shiro lectured as he resided on the bottom bunk of a bed.

"Well i dont want to be patient!" The cuban teen whined like a child, frowning as he stomped his foot. He looked down to the markings twining up his arm. "Hmn.. i miss them." He sighed softly.

"Im sure theyre okay, you just need to wait." Hunk patted his shoulder. "On a different note.." he looked to shiro, "..You missed classes this week? Sendak might have your arse if you dont show up." He chuckled.

The taller man sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "Keith has been worse these couple of weeks.. i had to stay back to watch him."

The two boys knew that keith was shiros younger brother, and the same age as them, but for some reason had not taken any courses in any of the colleges that had sent him scholarships. They also knew that the man was always suffering with some kind of illness; but Shiro refused to tell any of them what it was.

"Oh, i hope hes okay.." lance frowned.

Shiro looked to the floor.

"Yeah.. me too."

 


	3. Chapter 3

' _Do you want to meet me'_

Thoughts ran quicker through his head than the legs that carried him.

' _I live in new york, in the city'_

So did he. He lived in new york. He lived in the city; the city with the streets he was sprinting down. The fucking city where he went to school and lived his full adult life.

_'Im sitting in a cafe. Voltron diner to be precise'_

He could see it. His reflection in the windows.

He could see the people taking slow sips of tea or coffee inside. He was almost there. He didnt know what or who was waiting for him inside.

Maybe it was a prank? After a week of not talking they finally want to meet?

_What has changed?_

The soft _ding_ of a small bell could be heard as he entered.

He took one glance around the small place; the smell of warm drinks and comforting background music surrounded him.

"Blue?"

The hair on the back of lances neck stood up on end.

His hands relaxed. 

he turned to look into the deepest, darkest pair of eyes he has ever had the pleasure of gazing into.

He was _beautiful_.

_"Red?"_


	4. Chapter 4

He was shorter.

Lance had to fully look down to see into those gorgeous shades of grey and purple that the other had for eyes.

He was pale too, not the 'stay at home and hide in the darkness of your depression' pale, but more of a 'if i go out in the sun even for a second i will end up looking like darth maul'.

Lance didnt know he was staring until his presumed soulmate cleared his throat.

And then he noticed his mullet.

Oh no.

"S-so um.." the shorter male began to look a little awkward before holding out his hand. "Im keith."

The brunette gently took his hand before shaking it violently; because lance just gets too excited sometimes. "Im lance! Oh my god you have absolutely no idea how many things i want to talk about!" lance was a talker. He didnt shut up even after he had dragged keith to a booth in the back of the cafe.

But keith didnt seem to mind. He always was more of a listener than a talker. So he sat there with a small, amused smile; taking leisurely sips of his tea.

____________________________________

"Do you go to school around here?"

"I dont go to school."

"Did you graduate?"

"No."

"Are you homeschooled?"

"No."

"Do you at least have some form of education??"

"Yes."

Lance grinned and rested his head in his hand as he watched keith look down into his beverage before taking another sip.

"So why the mullet?"

"Its not a mullet."

Lance rolled his eyes and reached forward to twirl a strand of his hair around his long fingers. "Its definitely a mullet dude. You cant deny these facts. You came straight out of the 80's voltron." He snickered as keith looked up.

"You watched that?" He asked as he rose an eyebrow, putting his cup down.

"Of course i have! That show was art in motion form. Horrible, cheesy as fuck art, but art nonetheless." Lance smiled as he pulled his hand back. "I didnt know you were into anime, mullet head."

"Im not! I just happened to of watched the series.. and all of studio ghiblis movies." He shrugged and hid his face in his tea again.

"Oh my god. Oh my god youve watched all of them?? How are you still a functioning human? Surely your tear ducts have withered and dried out by now with how much you probably fucking cried!" He gaped, a hand over his heart.

"For your information, i only cried at the end of spirited away."

"honestly who hasnt." Lance giggled. "I cried for literally an hour."

"Seems like something you would do."

"Are you calling me a baby?"

"Maybe."

Lance gasped in fake disbelief, letting his jaw go slack; before closing it and taking a ridiculously long breath through his nose. "I can not believe that my soulmate, the one i have met approximately 36 minutes ago, is already mocking me." He wiped a fake tear.

"Maybe you're just a drama queen."

"Now that i can agree with."   
___________________________________

They didnt know how they ended up in lances dorm room watching another one of ghiblis movies, but there they were. Wrapped in blankets with a small bowl of popcorn in between them.

"So you've never seen ponyo before?" Keith asked as lance took a giant handful of popcorn and attempted to eat it all at once.

"That's disgusting."

Lance only shrugged as he somehow managed to fit all of the kernels into his mouth. "You're disgusting. And for your other question, no I haven't." He got comfortable in the blanket that was snuggled around him. "So let me watch, mullet."

With a roll of his eyes, Keith returned to the movie.  
___________________________________

Something a little heavy weighed down lances right shoulder as the movie progressed; and suddenly the cuban boy couldn't breathe.

He looked down as he swallowed the lump in his throat, seeing keiths closed eyelids and his messy long hair.

"Okay lance, dont freak out. Hes only sleeping.." he slowly wrapped an arm around the other, pulling the blanket up so keith wouldn't get cold.

"There, all set. Hopefully he won't kill me when he wakes up." He joked to himself cause honestly he was nervous af.   
_____________________________________

Keith didnt stir or open his eyes once during the movie, and when the movie ended he still wasn't moving.

Lance tried not to panic,

Because sleeping keith was the cutest thing hes ever seen.

"I guess im not getting up so I might as well get comfy.." lance sighed as he gently sat keith up, bringing his own long legs on the couch and carefully setting Keith in between them, letting the other fall back to lay on top of his chest.

"Well at least now you wont be cold.." he whispered as he pulled the blanket up again, reaching for the remote to turn off the tv.

He fell asleep to the sound of Keiths breathing. He didnt notice the slight rasp to it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a cringy Instagram if you wanna dm me or follow @Lances.leggys

Keith wasn't there when lance woke up.

He had checked the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and the small balcony.

No keith.

He picked up a pen.  
'Where did you go?'

Lance sighed as he looked to the clock; only to see that he had missed his morning classes. He groaned loud enough for the people across the hall to hear as his hands slid down his face.

He sat himself down on his couch for a few moments before getting up to get the door, where someone was knocking vigorously.

"Calm your fucking tits im coming im c- _shiro_? Whats wrong?"

the tall man looked like a stressed out father whos daughter wouldn't go to sleep. "Hes missing. I dont know where he is and he wont pick up his phone and i need help, i-i looked in the hospital and hes not there!" Shiro grasped lances shoulders; He looked like he had ran a marathon.

"Whoa whoa, okay pal, just take a deep breath. Whos missing?" Lance took shiros hands off his shoulders and held them gently.

"Keith!"

Lances eyebrows furrowed.  
" _Keith_?"

_____________________________________

They had looked everywhere.

Still no keith.

"Is.. he really your soulmate?" Shiro asked as he looked down at lance.

The brunette glanced up before looking down at his arms. "Yeah...We just met last night. I dont know what got into him. He just..Suddenly wanted to meet me." He shrugged as he pulled his sleeves down.

Shiro nodded; his eyes looking away. "I see.. and he just.. disappeared this morning?" He questioned as they turned a street corner in his car.

Lance only gave a simple nod.

_____________________________________

They had arrived at the hospital; the last place they were going to check for the day. Lance put a hand on shiros before he could get out of the car.

He looked up. His eyes were curious and sad.

"Whats wrong with him?"

The other only stared, biting the inside of his cheek for a few seconds.

"You mean he hasnt told you?"

_____________________________________

He has cancer.

 _He_ _has_ _cancer_.

The words hit him like a bullet through glass.

He has cancer.

_Keith has cancer._

He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't think.

Hecouldn't comprehend it.

_He was diagnosed at thirteen._

_Hes had four tumors_

_Hes been through ten years of chemo._

_Hes dying, lance._

Keith is dying.

And we cant save him.

_Lance cant save him._

 


	6. Chapter 6

They found him in his hospital bed.

Shiro had walked into the room first and smiled as keiths eyes opened; only to shoot across the room to see lance walking in as well.

"L-lance??"

"Yeah.. hey keith."   
The teen forced a small smile onto his lips as he made his way over to stand at the foot of the bed.

He gave the other a once over; understanding now why he was so sickly pale before. "S-so.." lance cleared his throat, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

"So.." keith repeated, lowly under his breath. They both stared each other down. There were no words that could be said.

____________________________________

  
Shiro had left the two alone to talk for a while. It was a smidge awkward at first and the atmosphere gave off a very sad vibe; but pretty soon they were giggling and telling stories like they were the day before.

"Youve _never_ had a caramel apple before?" Lance asked as he sat criss crossed on the edge of the bed.

"Nope, never." Keith chuckled as he relaxed against the wall behind him, pulling the thin blanket up his thighs. "Shiro wouldn't allow me to eat them when i had braces, and i just never thought about them ti'll now." He shrugged.

"Thats so tragic."

"Tell me about it."

The cuban teen chuckled and looked Keith over again- really looking him over this time.   
His gorgeous eyes were sunken in and only enlightened by some type of desire hidden _deep_ within them.  
His cheeks were slightly hollow and his lips always fell into a natural frown; making him look endearingly _pissed off._

His hands too, lance studied them. His fingers were short but his palms were wide. They looked dry. _Cold_. Lance wanted to hold them and give them the warmth they so desperately lacked. So he did, giving them a small squeeze as he looked into those dark eyes.

_"Im here for you, keith. This... this doesnt change anything between us."_

The other tensed up at that, before his frown pulled up into what looked like a smile, a real smile. One that wasn't hiding anything behind it.

"I believe you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some klangst in the next chapter 


	7. Chapter 7

It was going so _well_.  
Everything was _fine_.  
Keith was doing alright,  
Lance was there for him.  
It was all okay.  
_For only a month_.

Lance had visited keith in the hospital _every_ _single_ _day_ after classes, bringing him lunch and movies they could watch on his laptop.

Keith was always so happy to see him; using lance as a distraction to what was really going on inside him.

Until that distraction turned into the only thing he lived for.

Shiro was sent to some other far off place for work. He had told keith that he wanted to stay for him, but the stubborn teen forced him to go, saying that he would see him when he returned.

Shiro wouldn't get that chance.

Lance sometimes brought his friends to the hospital when keith was having a particularly bad day. Hunk and pidge got along with him fairly well and never asked too many questions on his condition.

They didnt need to.

But lance was _always_ right there beside him.

Whenever keith called, or whenever he just decided to show up.

Lance made sure he was never alone for too long.

Because he knew keith was getting worse.

_____________________________

It was.. surprisingly cold for a saturday in may.

Lance had just stepped out of his weekend classes, a small skip in his step as he walked to the nearest cafe. The one where he had met his soulmate.

He got Keiths favorite tea and a coffee for himself, and even bought a few pastries that they would share.

If only he had bought them sooner.

If only he had walked to the hospital faster, instead of waiting for every damned light to cross. instead of thinking that everything was going to be as it was the day before, and the day before that.

_If only he had remembered._

The drinks were on the floor.

The box of sweets they were going to share was dropped somewhere in the corridor.

And lance couldnt move.

He couldnt breathe.

He couldn't think.

He could only watch as a nurse made the bed that keith slept in _every night._

And see that keith wasnt there.

And he never will be.

Because keith was _gone_.

And now, so was lance

**Author's Note:**

> Haha i love angst  
> This was the end guys! Im sorry!
> 
> bbv.voltron@gmail.com  
> Find me here ;)


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